A Seaside Morning Letter

As we sat in the brilliance of the morning sun, our task as a seaside writers’ group was to create a letter to our future selves from our self of today. 

As I look upon this creation of the morning, I feel that this letter would not only be advice to myself in the future, but a reminder to anyone, no matter where they may be in the journey of Life,  to slow down often and listen deeply with the hearing that goes far beyond what we do with our ears.

As a timed activity, we were asked to write and then expand at certain points on the ideas we had just completed.  These parts are highlighted in the centered paragraphs.

I am sure there is much more to say, but in the time we were given to write, I feel this pretty much sums it up.

Below is the letter-form of our sweet morning by the sea:

Dearest Ones,

As I sit here on a beautiful morning in Townsville, I am feeling deeply in my heart the incredibly rich and colourful tapestry of Life.  It is woven together through our senses: the brilliant sights that we see and sounds that we hear.

The sounds of the wind in the trees, the song of the birds, the traffic on the street.  The melody of our own breath and the rhythmic beating of our own hearts.  These are the sounds of All Life coming together to create a tremendous symphony of rhythms, melodies and harmonies.

The smells and tastes and all sensory perceptions carry Life’s message through countless and infinite forms.

The advice I would like to give you is more of a reminder to always, in every situation, whether it be pleasant or unpleasant, exciting or boring, riddled with extasy or agony and everything in between: Feel It All.   

Feel it so very deeply that every tear you cry out of joy or sorrow carries the knowing of this message of Life within you.

Let Life’s message touch you through your connection with others, through the sweet nectar of a  fresh café latte, through the very toughest of days, and through the sweet sparkle of the ocean, so brilliantly reflecting the playful and creative nature of All Life.  Know that sparkle as a direct reflection of the very same sparkle within you, and let it shine out through every molecule of your being, expressing Life’s brilliance through this form of you in each and every moment.

Remember, you are in charge of where your attention rests.  Ask yourself often: “Where is my attention at this moment?” And in a time of many distractions keep your attention water-tight on your knowing of the message that shines through us all.

With Highest Love,

Tracey

Her Message Sings Itself

Beyond the body, beyond the thoughts, deeper than and yet embracing our emotions and external experiences …There is simply Life.  The boundless, unborn, undying, timeless energy of All Life.  It throbs and pulses, pregnant with the desire to express itself in every way possible.  It is playful in nature, yet with a fierce grace, and a beauty, compassion, and wisdom which go beyond what words could ever encompass.  

This energy is a mother: The Supreme Mother, dancing and twirling, and birthing into existence All That Is.

Her capacity to create is boundless, expressing form in countless ways: every raindrop, flower, chemical reaction, energetic movement beyond what our senses perceive, every animal, the vastness of space.  And in humans… every heartbeat, breath, idea, and creation.

This amazing fractilian dance, ever expanding into what appears to be utter chaos and destruction, which our minds translate into oblivion.  At the same time, this creative force contracts infinitely inward, folding in on itself in order to know and re-unite with itself through us in the form of our “individual” experiences.

Her message sings itself through all these forms, and together we are the ‘One Song,’ the Universe: each individual note, the melodies and harmonies, the instruments, the audience, the composer, the stave upon which the notes are written, and the breath through which it is played.  We are it all, in its ever-changing, temporal nature.

So what else to do but enjoy the Song and rest in the mystery of it all? To give thanks for the gift of walking on this Earth, and to be able to feel the sun on our skin and the cool breeze.  This gift of Life brings with it all extremes: the greatest joys, the deepest sorrows, and everything in-between. Let us welcome them all and know that they are all part of Life’s Great Song.

The gift of being able to so deeply feel every emotion, the gifts of memory and projection, and all the subtle nuances of the mind, let us welcome them all from the space beyond it all: as The Mother herself. 

For it is not that which is perceived with the senses, but That which makes perception possible which is Eternal.  May we know this to be ourselves: That which makes all of this possible.
***

The Koshas -- Layers Of Our Being

Spiritual realization is the aim that exists in each one of us to seek our divine core. That core, though never absent from anyone, remains latent within us.  It is not an outward quest for a Holy Grail that lies beyond, but an Inward Journey to allow the inner core to reveal itself.

In order to find out how to reveal our innermost Being, the sages explored the various sheaths of existence, starting from body and progressing through the mind and intelligence, and ultimately to soul.  The yogic journey guides us from our periphery: the body, to the center of our being: the soul.  The aim is to integrate the various layers so that the inner divinity shines out as through clear glass. 

BKS Iyengar, Light on Life

Many yoga practitioners are drawn to the practice through the āsanas:  the physical postures, of which there are thousands representing all aspects and forms of existence.  There is a pose to represent everything, from a boat (Navasana), to a lion (Siṃbhasana), to an enlightened sage (Vaśiṣṭhasana).  These poses and movements help to keep the body healthy, as well as unblocking energy channels so that after a yoga practice we feel strong, healthy, vibrant, and peaceful. 

But what actually is happening to make us feel this way?  Through āsana practice, we fine-tune our awareness of the body and become more aligned and aware of what signals our bodies give us about the overall state of our health.  This is the beginning of a process of fine-tuning that starts with the body, and grows ever more subtle though layers of our being—which perhaps we have yet to realize even exist.  

The purpose of this article is to briefly highlight these layers of our existence according the ancient yogic texts of the Rāja Yoga Sūtras of Patañjali and the Upaniṣads, along with my experience and understanding of them.  Your deepening awareness of these can evoke an expansion of yoga practice on all levels, and point the way to a profound Truth which resides within us all—the Self.

The sage Patañjali describes, in his Rāja Yoga Sūtras, the practice, or sādhana, of Rāja yoga as having 8 limbs.  These limbs evolve in a process of fine-tuning from the grossest levels of our understanding to the most subtle:  

1. Yamas, and 2. Niyamas:  these are codes of conduct and qualities of Self-realisation which are to be cultivated within the life of a yoga practitioner.  By cultivating these principles within our own lives, a shift in consciousness can occur which is then mirrored in our experience of the external world.

3. Āsana:  typically known as the physical practice involving the body.  Patañjali defines āsana as:  a steady, comfortable posture.

4. Prāṇāyāma:  defined by Patañjali as regulation and control of the inhalation and exhalation of the breath, creating luminosity and preparing the mind for one-pointed focus (dhāraṇā).

5. Pratyahara:  withdrawal of the senses, which results in a calm, non-stimulated mind.

6. Dhāraṇā:  focusing the mind on one element or single area (concentration).

7. Dhyāna:  an unbroken flow of perception between mind and object in the form of one, continuous thought (meditation).

8. Samadhi:  the knower, knowing, and that which is known become one pure essence/awareness (mystical absorption)—the aim of all yogic practices.

We will next examine the kośas, or layers of our existence, and how these limbs of yoga sādhana stated in the Yoga Sūtras of Patañjali relate to and weave their way through them.

According to the Taittirīya Upaniṣad, there are 5 layers, sheaths, or kośas to our seemingly individual existence.  Similar to the 8 limbs of Rāja Yoga, they range from the densest part of our being (the body), to the most vast and subtle (inner joy/peace).  Although presented in a linear fashion here, these layers are interconnected and each subtle layer comprises and encompasses the layers denser than it.  In becoming aware of, and examining, these aspects of our being through the 8 limbs of Rāja Yoga, we can help bring our lives into balance and integration on all these levels and eventually transcend them through a deep knowing of them and rest in the Self—the loving aware presence which allows it all to be possible.

1. Annamaya-kośa (food sheath, Earth element):  this consists of your physical-material body, the grossest, densest part of our existence, and it is comprised of, and fuelled by, the food we eat.  Annamaya-kośa is usually the sheath with which we identify the most, because it is through this instrument that we sense and feel and move – it is our field of activity (kṣetra).  Āsana (and prāṇāyāma) as well as a healthy diet help to keep this physical layer in optimal condition so that we can experience life through our bodies with ease, free from dis-ease. 

2. Pranāmaya-kośa (vital sheath, Water element):  this surrounds and penetrates the physical body as the vital energy which flows in and around the body.  One familiar aspect of Pranāmaya-kośa is known as the aura and the life force which flows through the intricate system of nāḍis or meridians, of which there are approximately 72,000 in and around a human body.  Pranāmaya-kośa is influenced and fuelled by the prāṇa absorbed through the breath, through food, and from the cosmic Universal lifeforce that surrounds and permeates us.  The practice of prāṇāyāma helps to keep this energy flowing freely, which also affects the health of the physical body.

3. Manomaya-kośa (mental sheath, Fire element):  even more subtle than the first 2 koshas, Manomayakośa consists of the thinking mind and emotions and permeates the vital and food sheaths.  The thoughts and emotions we experience affect the energy flow in and around us, which in turn affect our energetic and physical health.  So, by becoming aware of our thoughts, judgements, and emotions as they arise and dissolve through sense-withdrawal (pratyahara) and one-pointed concentration (dhāraṇā), giving space to all of our thoughts and emotions without pushing them away and by applying this also in prāṇāyāma and āsana practice (and also in life!), we can deeply enhance the overall state of our wellbeing.

4. Vijñānamaya-kośa (intellect/intuitive sheath, Air element):  permeating the 3 denser layers (manomaya, pranāmaya, and annamaya) is the home of our inner knowing and wisdom.  It is this aspect of our being which knows Life intimately at the deepest level and from which we receive messages from beyond what our minds could ever understand.  Within this sheath, there is still the illusion of duality, where there is a knower, the knowing, and the known.  However, through the process of āsana, prāṇāyāma, dhāraṇā, and then through meditation (dhyāna), the mind becomes still and we can truly listen to the silent messages that Life speaks to us through all that exists.  
The second and third sutras in the very first chapter in Patañjali’s Raja Yoga Sutras state: 

1.2 Yogas chitta vritti nirodha – Yoga is the cessation of the activities and patterning of the mind.

1.3 Tada drastuh svarupe ‘vasthanam – When this happens, the perceiver rests in his/her true nature.  

It is by resting in this true nature, free from the influence of thought, emotion, and experience, that we can listen with an inner hearing that transcends what we do with our ears and hear Life’s message
to us, allowing this message to align itself into our thoughts (manomaya-kośa), our energy field (pranāmaya-kośa), into our field of activity, the body (annamaya-kośa), and thus into our actions and experiences.  This develops into our svadharma, our deepest purpose or calling in Life.

5. Ānandamaya-kośa (bliss sheath, ether/space element) beyond the other 4 kośas, and yet permeating and comprising them all, is the sheath of bliss.  This is the aspect of our being which we recognise as a deep inner peace and joy, free from our thoughts, emotions, energy and body, and yet at the same time embracing them all.  It is the sweetness of All Life that we feel when the mind is still, also known as sat-cit-ānanda—absolute truth-wisdom-bliss.  It can be known as a super-conscious state of samādhi, the 8th limb of Raja Yoga, but even in this layer, there remains the duality between a knower of the sweetness and the sweetness itself.

These 5 koshas are, as James Reeves so beautifully says in his Ekhart Yoga series, “The Gateways to the Soul.”  In the study of Vedānta (Upaniṣads), they are also referred to as veils which are created for us to examine, to know and to transcend in order to lead the way back to our true nature—the Self.  The kośas are intimately related to our states of awareness (waking, dream and sleep) and our three bodies (gross, subtle and causal).  As we get to know and understand each kośa from the densest to the most subtle, and how each works within our own existence, we can open each Gateway and experience the path we are treading as the road to knowing and being Oneness. 

ONENESS OF THE TWO — LIVING SELF AND SUPREME SELF (OṂ)

Beyond these 5 kośas, and still comprising and embracing them all is the Supreme Self, known also as Brahman in the study of Vedānta, and Puruṣa in the Rāja Yoga Sūtras.  It is difficult to talk about this because it is a non-dual concept and ground of all experience.  The mere formation of language that attempts to describe it creates a duality between description and the experience itself.  Words can only point to it, as it is something which goes beyond what words can describe and yet at the same time it IS also the words being used to describe it, as well as the speaker, the listener, and the meaning behind it all! 

The Self is THAT which is timeless, unchanging, and makes everything that exists possible.  It holds us all, comprises us all, and IS everything, and at the same time it isn’t anything at all.  It is what sees through our eyes and experiences Life though the illusion of our “personal” experience, and yet the Self that is me is the very same Self that is you.

Ekhart Tolle has a very beautiful summary of the Kena Upaniṣad which states: “Not that which is perceived with the senses, but THAT which makes perception possible, know THIS to be the Eternal.” The 5 kośas and the entire practice of yoga essentially serve to point the way as a dance of examining, knowing, and experiencing the densest parts of our existence into the most subtle … and eventually dissolving into the experiential knowing of Oneness … of THAT which makes the whole dance possible.

***

Mouna: The Inner Silence

It comes in the stillness

A wordless knowing

Of everything

And beautifully nothing

In Sanskrit, the word mouna (roughly translated) means “silence.”  In its most basic essence, this can be practiced as non-speaking.  Mouna is often introduced in yoga retreats as a daily period of non-speaking, and at more advanced levels as several days of silence. 

For many, the idea of not talking, even for a few hours, is daunting: the mind races in with questions like “ But how will I communicate?” and “What will I do with no conversation?”

In actuality, so much of how we think about ourselves, others, and the world is created through conversation.  Talking about and relating experiences, forming opinions and having others agree and disagree with them creates a strong sense of identity and thus perpetuates a mind-based concept of who we think ourselves to be.  Our minds then create thoughts to continue that momentum… and before we know it, who we think we are is dictated by our thoughts and our conversations with others. And we get totally lost within it.

The practice of hatha yoga prepares us to enter this space of silence through asana by keeping the body fit and healthy without aches and pains for the mind to focus on,  through pranayama by balancing the flow of energy through the body, eventually creating a stillness in the body and mind, bringing us to the stage of pratyahara (withdrawl of the senses).  This is where mouna starts to work its magic.

Mouna provides us the opportunity to simply watch; to observe the activity of the mind without getting involved in its antics.  When we simply observe our thoughts and how they activate our emotions and drive our behaviour without getting involved, eventually the ego mind settles a bit and something else very precious arises.

After the thoughts have settled, from deep within the stillness and the silence there arises an acute awareness. It is an awareness revealing the very nature or “aliveness” in everything. 

Our attention draws within, and we begin to see that everything in the world is bursting with Life’s creative message.  And it is so extremely and uncontrollably beautiful, because it is the very same creative message which is bursting within ourselves.

It is from this space of knowing that true creativity arises. Everything in existence carries Life’s message of loving and living in every way and form possible. And when we can shed a bit of our mind-based identity through mouna and rest comfortably in this knowing, then a world which is even fuller and richer than our minds can comprehend is revealed.

Our whole world breathes to this rhythm and dances to this exquisite melody, together orchestrating the Grand Symphony of All Life.

It is through mouna that we can begin to hear with a listening way beyond what our ears can perceive. It begins with the external practice of non-speaking, and eventually evolves into a deep inner listening, within which we can hear the calling of this symphony, the message of the Universe, in which each every note is leading us back home.

Cleaning House

Finding employment since moving to Australia has been challenging, to say the least.  Gratefully, there are yoga events planned here and there, but they are scattered across a vast timeline, and it is necessary to do another ‘job’ in-between these events in order to keep a bit of cash flow happening.  Sometimes I have found myself looking through the newspaper and desperately scratching resumes together for jobs I know in my heart that I am not suited for and really don’t even want.  

Needless to say.. and very thankfully… none of these acts of desperation eventuated into a job.  But each of them holds a great lesson in the fine art of letting go of that frantic need to be ‘in control’ and have things look and feel a certain way in order to be happy.

I was offered an opportunity to help out a friend with her business of cleaning homes and holiday rentals.  She simply offered me the work after many weeks of frenzied searching, without me ever saying a word to her.  It was a beautifully effortless offer to do some work and make some extra money, so I graciously accepted.

However, my mind became filled with critical judgements and thoughts like: “But you hold a degree from a Big 10 University, you should not be doing this simple job.  You should be out there saving the world!!” and “You have traveled the world, teaching and sharing yoga practices with thousands of people… You have done "this and that other seemingly 'impressive' thing" blabbity blah blah.... what are you doing cleaning up other people’s messes?” 

Thus is the cutting, controlling, and seemingly cruel behavior of an ego that is desperate to run the show.  The deeper part of me set these tangled thoughts aside and started the job with an open heart.

To my ego’s great surprise, I found that cleaning actually weaves together a whole lifetime of education and experiences. Coming into people’s homes and ‘cleaning up’ is like running a comb through their lives in a certain sense: physically tidying up the living space so that it is clear and fresh and getting rid of the grime and dust that accumulates over time.  There is also an energetic ‘combing’ that happens: a subtle smoothing of chaotic, trapped, and knotted energies, which also build up over time creating a certain feeling of stress or heaviness in the household.  

By the end of the cleaning session, the home feels back to its natural state of peace and tranquility, and the residents can come home from the activities of their day and into that peaceful sanctum.  Ironically, it is very similar to yoga classes, except it’s all done without any spoken words or personal interaction in a mystical and almost magical way that I don’t know how to explain.

Recently also, we donated some cleaning hours to people who cannot clean their own homes and cannot really afford to pay someone else to do it.  

I went to help a lady who has severe rheumatoid arthritis and stage 4 cancer.  Physically, she is a whisp of a lady, but her spirit is strong and her eyes are sparkly.  She met me at the garage in her power wheelchair and asked if she could donate the hours to her neighbor Greta who was having a particularly rough time.  

This woman, so seemingly frail, very graciously helping out her friend in the midst of her own challenges and pain: my heart was so touched at the gesture.  We went to see Greta, and she agreed that the help would be appreciated.

It turns out that Greta was starting her 3^rd round of cancer treatment the next day, after previously having half of her stomach and a portion of her liver removed.  She was very matter-of factly about it all and was busy cooking large amounts of food to freeze and have ready to eat in the coming days when she knew she would feel pretty awful.

Together we changed the sheets on her bed and fluffed up her pillows so that she would have a cozy place to rest when she returned home from the chemo treatment.  We even got servings of food prepared for her cat so that she could just dump it in his bowl with minimal effort. I dusted and vacuumed and mopped the floor with a love that came from a place deeper than any thought or judgment could ever touch.  And I left her house still wrapped in that love.

The whole situation is a huge reminder that every experience, however humble it may seem at the time, holds a rich wisdom that often we don’t expect. The white light of Life shines through the prism of Creation, casting all the colors of the rainbow… and red is no more or less important than purple. 

 

Looking back, it makes all that stressing about resumes and jobs seem so unnecessary.  This act of ‘cleaning’ has gifted me with the knowing that, although it is great to pursue our highest passions, it really doesn’t matter so much what we “do”.  It’s who we ARE that counts, and THAT shines through us in the forms of our thoughts, speech, actions, and experiences, whether it is teaching a class to hundreds of people, or mopping the floor for someone who cannot do it themselves.   

When it comes to the squeeze Life sometimes puts on us, it’s the juicy wisdom which is extracted and assimilated into our inner knowing which is one of the greatest gifts we can receive.  And when we loving let go of trying to control the details of our lives all the time, these rich gifts are revealed in precious ways indeed.

 

September Morn

Usually I don’t listen to a lot of music.  The birds in the trees, the dog barking next door, our windchimes on the porch, and even the sound of the traffic on the busy road outside are usually enough to provide a lovely ambient background as I travel through each day.  But today, was a bit different.  Today after the kids went to school, I opened Pandora on my phone and put it on shuffle.

As the music began to play, my ears and my heart recognized a familiar tune.  Seemingly out of nowhere, Neil Diamond appeared through this magical app singing his ballad “September Morn.” It’s not exactly one of his most popular songs, but my heart knows it well.  I grew up listening to Neil with my parents.  By the time I was 12, I had seen him live in concert 5 times.  There are fond memories in the back of my mind of 1981, when all 4 members of my family could sit on the bench front seat of my dad’s Oldsmobile, driving home in a snowstorm and singing “Forever in Blue Jeans” at the top of our lungs after a night out at Ponderosa steakhouse.  And even though Neil was not exactly considered 'cool' for a youth in the 80's, I secretly loved the emotions his music evoked in my family and myself.

And somehow, this song… it wrapped itself around the deepest reaches of my life’s experiences and brought them bounding to the forefront of my mind… as if every moment of my life was happening in that very moment.  As Neil’s words sang a song of the end of innocence, and a certain coming of age, I re-lived, with deep intensity, the days of playing in the driveway with my sister, summers at my grandparents’ home, helping my Granny freeze the peaches in August, silly days of high school antics, the tragic accidents of two close member of my family, meeting my husband, the illnesses and deaths of my grandparents and dad, the birth of my children…

All of these past experiences and all the vibrant emotions surrounding them, happening in the single moment of Now… triggered by a simple song.  Amazing.

It’s as if, through our minds, we can travel through time.  These incredible, inter-dimensional experiences of memory and projection, when experienced in the form of thought, can create and re-create the past and future as if they are happening now.  All of this done through the lens of the emotions we feel as those thoughts arise. 

So in this sense, the emotions that arise through projection and memory can be our greatest teachers in fine-tuning our awareness.

By simply watching the reactions to thoughts in the form of emotions and physical sensations, a certain space is created.  It’s as if we are experiencing the thoughts, memories, and projections of the future from first-hand experience, while at the same time a deeper part of ourselves watches as an observer or witness from afar. 

It’s one of the magnificent gifts of being human, actually: to be an active participant in this Dance of Life; to feel fully the greatest joys and deepest pains, and at the same time rest in that sacred, deeper space and KNOW it all as the grand Dance of Life.

Watching and feeling… feeling and watching… sliding ever fearlessly and playfully between these two.  As this perspective broadens, we let go with more and more ease of the thoughts and emotions, memories and projections to which we so tightly cling.  There comes a profound realization that everything we have been striving so hard to achieve is not what it has appeared to be.   This can be shocking and terrifying, even, to the surface layers of our persona: that part of us which “holds it all together” and “looks good” from the outside.  But when witnessed from that deeper space, there comes a sweet sense of relief as we realize that we can let go of the tight grasp that we are Somebody or that we need to BE Somebody.  With a deep exhale, we can settle into that vast space of Being beyond the thoughts, memories, and projections, creating the space for the totality of All Life to flow through us effortlessly.

We can realize that the details of our lives are part of a much larger picture, all twirling and dancing around together to create what we know as the Universe. We can play in this experience of being human without taking it so terribly seriously; seeing all events, creations, experiences, and the emotions surrounding them as that Divine, creative force bursting into existence in every way possible.

 

And with this, comes an overwhelming and innate gratitude and peaceful joy: a reverence for all that exists in the Universe, even our own judgments, emotions, and pain.  Arising from One, blossoming fully, and returning home again to the unmanifested yet ever-present One Love.